簡單搞笑英語句子,簡短的英語小笑話

簡單搞笑英語句子目錄

英語笑話，好笑的，短一點，簡單一點的，不要是對話的形式

簡短的英語小笑話

英語笑話（要簡短又笑的）

1. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.。

2. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.。

3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.。

4. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.。

5. I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome.。

6. I'm not procrastinating, I'm just prioritizing my laziness.。

7. I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person.。

8. I'm not old, I'm a classic.。

9. I'm not talking to myself, I'm having a staff meeting.。

10. I'm not forgetful, I'm just selectively remembering things."。

英語笑話，好笑的，短一點，簡單一點的，不要是對話的形式

一：She Didn"t Say Anything

A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.

The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。

“How do you know?” asked her father.

“She didn"t say anything.”

二：I Have Turned It Over

A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”

The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”

簡短的英語小笑話

A tiger caught a Deer.一只老虎抓到一頭鹿

　　The tiger plans to eat the deer, so the deer screamed: " you can't eat me"老虎打算吃了這頭鹿.鹿急忙大叫：“你不能吃我？”

　　The tiger hesitated, feeling very strange, so he asked the deer: " why can't i eat you? 老虎一楞，感到很奇怪，于是問鹿：“為什么我不能吃你？”

　　The deer said:" Because im a protected second class animal in the country, so, no matter what you can't eat me !"

　　鹿說：“因為我是國家二級保護動物，所以，你無論如何也不能吃了我！”

　　The tiger after hearing what the deer said, laughed and said " haha, then i should really eat you !

　　老虎聽完笑著說：“呵呵，那么我更應(yīng)該要吃你了

　　Deer asked : " why ?"

　　鹿說：“為什么？”

　　" because im a first class protected animal in the country" Tiger proudly said

　　“因為我是國家一級動物！”老虎得意地說。

　　A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantically, she called to the father outside.

　　"Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do ?"

　　Yelled back the father ,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

　　母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進嘴里吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣，她發(fā)狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道：

　　“你兒子剛才吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣！我該怎么辦呢？“

　　孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚五分鎳幣！”

　　Just Sew the Buttonhole

　　Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?

　　Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.

　　丈夫：你給我把扣子縫好了嗎，親愛的？

　　妻子：沒有，親愛的。

我找不到扣子，所以我只把扣眼兒給縫上了。

英語笑話（要簡短又笑的）

A teacher said to her class:

"Who was the first man?"

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."

有個老師問班上的學(xué)生：

“誰是第一個男人？”

“喬治·華盛頓，”一個小男孩當(dāng)即叫道。

“你怎么知道喬治·華盛頓是第一個男人呢？”老師問道，寬容地微笑著。

小男孩說：“因為他是戰(zhàn)時第一，和時第一，國人心中第一。

”

這時一個大點兒的男孩舉起手來。

“那么，”老師對他說，“你認為誰是第一個男人呢？”

“我不知道他的名字，”大點兒的男孩說，“但我知道不是喬治·華盛頓，老師。

因為歷史書上說，喬治·華盛頓取了一個寡婦，所以在他前面肯定還有一個男人。

”