英語說說搞笑幽默,有趣搞笑的英語句子

英語說說搞笑幽默目錄

經(jīng)典搞笑的英語段子

有趣搞笑的英語句子

英文短笑話

1. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.。

我以前是靠耳朵彈鋼琴的，現(xiàn)在只好用手了。

。

2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.。

為什么科學(xué)家不相信原子？因?yàn)樗鼈兘M成了一切。

。

3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.。

。

4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.。

為什么番茄變紅了？因?yàn)樗吹搅松忱u。

。

5. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.。

。

6. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.。

我以前很猶豫，但現(xiàn)在我也不確定。

。

7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.。

為什么稻草人獲得了獎項(xiàng)？因?yàn)樗谧约旱念I(lǐng)域里非常杰出。

。

8. I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down.。

我正在讀一本關(guān)于膠水歷史的書，但似乎無法放下。

。

9. I don't always tell dad jokes, but when I do, he laughs.。

我不總是講父親式的笑話，但是當(dāng)我這樣做時，他會笑。

。

10. I told my wife she was getting fat, and she told me I was getting bald. I guess we're both losing something.。

經(jīng)典搞笑的英語段子

熬夜對身體不好，所以我建議你通宵。

Staying up late is not good for your health, so I suggest you stay up all night.整理了一些英語 說說大全 ，歡迎大家閱讀！

1、我胖了才顯得你瘦，免得我瘦的時候顯得你丑。

I am fat to look thin, so that I dont look ugly when I am thin.

2、在街上看美女，目光高一點(diǎn)就是欣賞，目光低一點(diǎn)就是流氓。

Looking at beauties in the street, the higher one is appreciation, and the lower one is rogue.

3、如果你主動一點(diǎn)，我們不光會有故事，還會有孩子。

If you take the initiative, we will not only have stories, but also children.

4、這個世間只有圓滑，沒有圓滿的。

This world only smooth, not perfect.

5、我喜歡交朋友，但不喜歡供祖宗。

I like to make friends, but I dont like to offer sacrifices to my ancestors.

6、黑夜給了我一雙黑色的眼睛，可我卻用它來翻白眼。

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used it to turn white eyes.

7、即使失敗99次，我也要繼續(xù)下去，最起碼湊個整，免得強(qiáng)迫癥又犯了Even if I fail 99 times, I will continue, at least to make a whole, so as not to make another obsessive-compulsive disorder!

8、我賣的了夢，裝得了酷，我是超級無敵美少女。

I sell the dream, pretend to be cool, I am a super invincible beauty girl.

9、幸好追你的時候你重，跑不動。

Fortunately, you are heavy and cant run when chasing you.

10、談一次戀愛，少一個朋友。

A love, less friends. 11、早起的鳥兒有早飯吃，晚起的鳥兒有晚飯吃。

The early bird has breakfast, the late bird has supper.

12、你那么甜，不適合風(fēng)吹日曬，適合躺在我懷里。

You are so sweet, not suitable for the wind and sun, suitable for lying in my arms.

13、我是水神，我為自己帶鹽！I am the water god, I bring salt for myself!

14、自從放了暑假，我就把早餐給戒了。

Since the summer vacation, Ive given up breakfast.

15、當(dāng)初說好的不讓我受一點(diǎn)委屈，果然不止一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)。

I was not wronged by what I said at the beginning, and it was indeed more than a little.

16、減肥這種事從來不會船到橋頭自然直，你這體重，沒到橋頭船就沉了。

This kind of thing will never go straight from bridge to bridge. Your weight will sink before bridge.

17、我真是個花心的人，暑假剛走了我就想著寒假。

Im really a flowery person. I think of winter vacation just after the summer vacation.

18、聽君一席話，省我十本書。

Listen to your words, save me ten books.

19、衣柜衣服千千萬，只有新的最好看。

There are thousands of clothes in the wardrobe, only the new ones are the best to see.

20、你是最好的，如果真有人比你好，我就裝作沒看見。

You are the best. If someone is better than you, I pretend I havent seen it.

21、孔子不能解決的問題，老子幫你解決。

I will help you solve the problems that Confucius cant solve.

22、車到山前必有路，有路我也剎不住。

There must be a way to get to the front of the mountain. I cant stop if there is a way.

23、我們說好不分離，要一直一直在一起。

We agreed not to separate, to always be together.

24、別和我談戀愛，虛偽，有本事咱倆結(jié)婚。

Dont fall in love with me. Hypocrisy. We can get married.

25、從來都不用化妝品，我保持年輕的秘訣就是，謊報年齡。

I never use cosmetics. The secret to keep young is to lie about my age.

26、每當(dāng)我找到成功的鑰匙，就有人偷偷把鎖給換了。

Whenever I find the key to success, someone stealthily changes the lock. 27、愿你們都擁有人人羨慕的愛情，而我有錢就好。

I wish you all have the love that everyone envies, and I have money.

28、大姨媽是吐血鬼，衛(wèi)生巾是吸血鬼。

Big aunt is a spitting blood ghost, sanitary napkin is a vampire.

29、怎么把腦子的錢轉(zhuǎn)到銀行卡里，在線等，急！How to transfer the money of brain to bank card, online, etc., urgent!

30、前面一只蟲飛到我的數(shù)學(xué)題旁邊，看了幾眼題目死了。

A bug in front of me flew to my math problem and saw the problem dead.

31、想和你喝酒是假，想醉你懷里是真。

Want to drink with you is false, want to drunk your arms is true.

32、待我日后嫁得良人，定謝你當(dāng)年不娶之恩。

I will thank you for not marrying when I am married.

33、這世間，真心本就稀缺，更該儉省。

In this world, sincerity is scarce, even more frugal.

34、青春就是瘋狂的奔跑，然后華麗的跌倒。

Youth is crazy running, then gorgeous fall.

35、沒有人不會累，只是每個人宣泄的方式不同，比如我：懶得說。

No one is not tired, but everyone has different ways of venting, such as me: lazy to say.

以上就是帶給大家欣賞的英語 說說大全 ，喜歡記得收藏！

有趣搞笑的英語句子

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。

One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應(yīng)該熱愛動物，因?yàn)樗鼈兒芎贸浴?/p>

Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節(jié)約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。

每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個。

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結(jié)婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聰明人都是未婚的，結(jié)婚的人很難再聰明起來。

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關(guān)名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關(guān)的親戚（聯(lián)系）。

Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。

（老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈） Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。

"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. “現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著你的將來”，所以還是再睡一會吧。

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應(yīng)該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。

"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " “努力工作不會導(dǎo)致死亡！”不過我不會用自己去證明。

"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " “工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看著別人工作。

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運(yùn)的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。

When two's company, three's the result! 兩個人的狀態(tài)是不穩(wěn)定的，三個人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網(wǎng)，它阻止你貿(mào)然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。

The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學(xué)的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多， 忘記的越多，知道的越少，為什么學(xué)來著？

英文短笑話

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

老師：誰能回到我下一個問題，誰就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.

一個小男孩把書包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!

老師：誰剛剛把書包扔出去了?

Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

男孩：我!我現(xiàn)在要回家了。

2、What dog can jump higher than a building?

什么狗比大樓跳的還高?

Anydog, buildings cant jump!

任何一只狗，大樓又跳不起來。

3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?

什么有頭、有尾，但是沒有身體?

A coin!

硬幣。

4、What has one eye but cannot see?

什么有一只眼睛，卻看不見?

A needle.

針。

5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"

妻子：你會怎么形容我呢?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.

Wife: "What does that mean?"

妻子：那是什么意思?

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可愛的、令人愉悅的、優(yōu)雅的、時髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

妻子：哇，謝謝，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

Husband: "Im just kidding!"

丈夫：開個玩笑!

6、Boy: Is this seat empty?

男孩：這個座位是空的么？

Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

7、My little dog cant read

我的狗不識字

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告??！

Mrs. Brown: Its no use, my little dog cant read.

布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識字。

”

8、My Wife Will Exchange Them

反正我太太明天會來換的

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

一位先生走進(jìn)一家商店要買副手套。

″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.

“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。

″Makes no difference ″replied customer.

“沒什么區(qū)別。

”這位顧客回答。

″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.

“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。

″Any″ he responded.

“什么顏色都成。

”他回答。

″Size﹖″

“號碼呢？”

″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″

“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點(diǎn)不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。

”